Please forgive me, but I am inadvertently training the next generation of marketers at my house. My 14-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son are seasoned ad critics. And neither is shy about sharing his or her deep and insightful observations with anyone who will listen.

“Dad, watch this commercial,” she says. “I love this talking baby.”

Or worse, from my son: “This song rocks. Internet Explorer is boss.”

But it’s they who are teaching me.

Beyond what all the metrics and brand engagement statistics might measure, the only thing my kids really base their judgments—their brand affinities—on, when we watch college football or a nature show or, again, forgive me, River Monsters – is simple likability. Do they look forward to a commercial they have already seen? If so, chances are they like the surprise, the self-deprecation, the part that’s not really about the product but about something else they enjoy – humor, style, music, humility, exuberance. In short, something that relates to them.

What they really respond to is the attitude of a brand that allows itself to be liked.

I used to believe that all an ad needed to be successful was tension, and to some extent I still do, but I am now placing another requirement on top—likability. Don’t talk down to me, don’t distort facts to make a weak point (are you listening, political campaigns and 5-Hour Energy?) and don’t beg me to follow you or be your friend. That makes me pity you.

There was a director in Thailand, where I used to work in the late ’80s, who taught me a very valuable lesson along the same lines. I would bring him storyboard after storyboard that he would flat-out reject. All were smart executions, deftly displaying one product benefit after another. 

“My job,” he would say, “is to allow the consumer to like the commercial. That’s it. If they don’t like the commercial, they don’t like the brand.” Then he would lower his dark glasses, look me in the eye and ask, “Is this something the client will like, or the consumer?”

He was right. Still is. And so are my kids.

You can check off every box on your marketing checklist, but if the consumer doesn’t like you, they will never “Like” you. Or buy you. Or subscribe to you. And I believe that’s the standard that we as marketers should be held to.